I am running a day late... gotta work on that.
So my biggest thing that I want to work on this week is playing with my sons and not yelling as much. I have a bit of a temper. It rarely comes out in public. I tend to take it out on my family. Especially when I am tired or hungry or one of any number of excuses. I've been working on it for a long time and I need to continue to work on it/focus on it. My goal is to only yell when I am cheering/happy or in shock or in an emergency or maybe to get my DH to get me a new toilet paper roll. Basically I don't want to yell in anger. There may be times when I need a little scream but there is a way to do it appropriately. I need to take a deep breath when stressed or hurried and not snap. I know I won't be perfect at it- probably ever- but I can be better.
These are the things I need to do to help me:
I need to clean more often so that the mess and clutter don't overwhelm me or make me angry.
I need to plan more activities to do with my sons so they will behave better and we can have more fun together.
I need to go to bed earlier.
I need to turn my computer and the tv off during the day. Well, maybe I can use the computer once or twice but not for more than half an hour at a time.
I need to declutter my house.
So my baby step goals for this week are:
do dishes
have the front room clean when Matt gets home from work
organize the boys room
Use http://www.notimeforflashcards.com/ to do preschool time each day. A craft, A song, An activity- spread throughout the day.
Get down on the floor and play animals or cars.
Singing time with Asher each day.
I signed up for two free classes through First Five to do with Kaden. One on Tues and one on Wednesday.
Set up a play date at the park.
Be in bed by 10:30
One movie a day for Kaden.
Declutter 15 minutes everyday in Kitchen and front room.
Ok.... Ready, Set, Go...
Dishes were my hard spot too!
ReplyDeleteDon't look for perfection, my mantra is "practice brings improvement". I used to HATE dirty dishes in almost a pathalogical way. Your Dad and I worked out a job trade. He did the dishes for one year and I mowed the lawn and changed all the dirty diapers. So the few times I did do the dishes that year I was doing them as a gift for him, to lessen his stress! Wow that helped change my additude a lot.
After that years trade was over, I did all the dishes again. When it got overwhelming I broke it down into smaller jobs. I would clear the table, reward myself, then rinse the dishes, rewrd myself. HAHAHA now that I think of it that's a lot like potty training!! I would tell myself that if I completed the one task and I couldn't do more then I would stop there. Most often doing the one task got me going and I'd finish them all. But sometimes I would reward myself for the one task and leave the dishes for a few hours, later I would come back and do another task, just for the reward!
This helped me a lot. My rewards were things like I could read for a while, go outside to the park with you. Call a friend. Eat a sweet thing, what ever.
Eventually calling a friend to talk while I did my jobs became a norm. Everytime someone called me it became a habit to clean the kitchen as I talked. That worked the best for me.
So give me a call kiddo, I'll cheer you on!
I really, really, really know how you feel. I'm checking our blogs right now because I really know how you feel. Baby steps are good. Don't be too hard on yourself. Lower your expectations (this is not a negative exercise, but a realistic one). When my boys were younger and I got down on myself for things I wasn't doing, I would vent to Mark. He always told me that his only expectation was that me and the kids are alive when he got home from work. This changed my expectations about myself. Also, when Aunt Kaye told me that the dishes are not as important as my kids, I took that to heart. The dishes still need to get done, but they aren't so important that I should stress over them. I've also noticed lately how quickly I can clean the house right before Mark comes home :), so I really can do it quickly during the day and it's no big deal.
ReplyDeleteDon't worry, you're better than you think you are!